Project Neil: november 2011

Script

Neil the Gnome:

1. Draft 10.11.11

FADE IN:

1. INT.MORNING. HUMAN HOUSE - BATHROOM.

The water is running in an old fashion sink.

PAN TO:

An old gnome is bathing in a human sink. He is dirty and the water surrounding him is starting to discolour. He seems relaxed and at home in this environment, though it clearly is not made for his use.

CUT TO:

The old gnome uses a human toothbrush to wash his back. Old skin flakes fly off, back hairs get pulled out and the toothbrush gets dirtier and dirtier.

CUT TO:

The old gnome puts the toothbrush back into the glass where he found it. It now has a dirty brown colour to it.

CUT TO:

The old gnome uses a human sock to dry himself between the legs.

CUT TO:

2. INT. MORNING. HUMAN HOUSE – LIVINGROOM.

The old gnome is standing over a hot coffeepot holding the wet human sock he used to dry himself with. He wrings the damp sock over the hot coffeepot and looks with a sense of accomplishment as the dirty bathwater merges with the coffee.

CUT TO:

3. EXT. DAY. HUMAN HOUSE – YARD.

It is snowy outside and a cold wind is blowing. Outside the house there is a small bench, a bucket and the roof drainage pipe.

The old gnome jumps from a window down to the bench. He turns around and sees the bucket. He unties his pants and starts taking a piss into the water bucket. The sound of trickling water is replaced by the sound of freezing water. The old gnome gives a small yelp then wrestles free. He jumps down from the bench.

CUT TO:

The gnome walks away from the bucket. A frozen ray of pee is protruding from where he was standing.

CUT TO:

The old gnome is walking away from the house as a silhouette appears in the window.

HUMAN:

(Scream).

THE OLD GNOME:

(Snicker).

CUT TO:

The old gnome is walking towards an outhouse.

(Title fades in)

CUT TO:

4. INT. DAY. GNOME HOUSE – LIVINGROOM.

The old gnome closes the door to his house.

CUT TO:

The inside of the old gnome’s house is dirty, but it still has a warm almost cosy atmosphere to it. In one end there is a large armchair and a fireplace on the other side there is a thimble positioned to catch drops of dirty water dripping from the outhouse above.

The old gnome walks towards his armchair. In the background, large droplets of brown goo drop into the thimble. He sits down in the chair and picks up a pipe that is on a table next to the chair.

CUT TO:

The old gnome is sitting in his chair. He lights up the pipe and gets ready to take a puff. He closes his eyes in anticipation.

There are three knocks at the door. The old gnome looks at the door and then back at his pipe.

THE OLD GNOME:

(Cursing under his breath)

The old gnome puts the pipe back on the table and gets out of the chair.

CUT TO:

The old gnome opens the door violently and looks outside. There is no one there. He slams the door closed and turns around while mumbling to himself.

CUT TO:

The old gnome is walking back up to his chair, but as he turns to face it he sees a gnome kid sitting in his chair. The kid looks innocently up at the old gnome and gives a slight smile. In his hand he is holding the old gnome’s pipe. The kid takes a large breath and blows into the pipe, blowing out smoke and burning tobacco.

CUT TO:

The old gnome screams and lifts the kid up by his throat. He shakes him around and yells at him. The kid keeps calm and reacts only by giving the old gnome a note written on a piece of cardboard. The old gnome takes it from him.

SLOW PAN:

The old gnome looks questioning at the note. It says “your grandson”.

SLOW PAN:

The old gnome looks back at the kid, but he has been replaced by a red hot poker. The old gnome looks at the poker.

THE OLD GNOME:

(Scream).

He throws the poker away and tries to blow on his hand to cool it down.

CUT TO:

The old gnome looks around the room trying to find the kid.

THE OLD GNOME:

(Gasp).

CUT TO:

The kid is sitting on an animal trophy that is hanging over the mantelpiece. He is rocking backwards and forwards and it is starting to loosen from the wall. The trophy falls from the wall carrying the kid with it.

CUT TO:

The trophy falls on top of the chair and skewers it.

CUT TO:

THE OLD GNOME:

(Muffled scream).

The old gnome stares in disbelief at his wreaked armchair. He looks at the kid.

CUT TO:

The kid smiles.

CUT TO:

The old gnome gets redder and redder.

THE OLD GNOME:

(Scream).

He runs and tries to get his hands on the kid.

CUT TO:

The kid dodges the old gnome who lunges past him.

CUT TO:

The old gnome steps in the thimble filled with brown gooey liquid.

CUT TO:

The kid and the old gnome run off-screen. Several objects fly past. (Large bang)

CUT TO:

5. EXT. DAY. GNOMEHOUSE – YARD.

It is starting to get dark. A warm light is emanating from the window in the gnomes house.

The gnome kicks the door to the outside open. He steps out. He looks like a demon, red in the face, his beard messed up and the dirty thimble still stuck to his foot. On his back hangs a red bag.

The old gnome kicks the dirty thimble back inside and walks to a small well standing close to the gnome’s house.

CUT TO:

The old gnome hooks the bag to the end of a rope and throws it into the well.

He starts to walk away, but stops when he hears the splash from the well. His face has gone back to its regular colour and he looks a bit worried. He looks back at the well, then back towards the house. He decides to go back to the well.

CUT TO:

He pulls up the bag and opens it, but inside there only the animal trophy he had in his living room. He looks at the head for a while. There is a bang as the door to the gnome’s house closes and a sound of locks being locked. The old gnome looks back towards the house.

CUT TO:

The door to the house is closed and a warm light is shining out on the snow.

CUT TO:

The old gnome runs to the window and looks inside.

CUT TO:

Inside the kid is sitting in the old gnomes damaged armchair and puffing on his pipe. He looks to the window at the old gnome.

CUT TO:

The old gnome hits the window with his hands.

CUT TO:

The kid just looks at him.

CUT TO:

The old gnome begs on his knees to be let inside.

CUT TO:

The kid looks at the old gnome then crosses his arms in defiance.

CUT TO:

The old gnome looks at the kid. His eyebrows lower and he starts to turn red again.

CUT TO:

The kid looks at the old gnome.

CUT TO:

The old gnome looks at the kid and gets redder.

CUT TO:

The kid looks at the old gnome.

CUT TO:

The old gnome looks at the kid and gets even redder.

CUT TO:

The kid looks at the old gnome and puffs out a large cloud of smoke.

CUT TO:

The old gnome is gone from the window.

THE OLD GNOME:

(Battle cry):

The old gnome smacks his whole body against the window and bounces back.

CUT TO:

6. EXT. EVENING-NIGHT. OVERVIEW – OUTHOUSE.

(Transition from evening to night).

CUT TO:

7. EXT. NIGHT. GNOME HOUSE – YARD.

The old gnome is sitting frozen and blue in the snow outside the house. A warm light shines down on him.

CUT TO:

8. INT. NIGHT. GNOME HOUSE – LIVINGROOM.

The kid places the frozen body of the old gnome in his armchair positioned in front of the fireplace. He gets a blanket and throws it over the old gnome. The old gnome is staring to defrost. The kid picks up the old gnomes pipe and sticks it in his mouth. The old gnome starts to get comfortable and leans back into the chair. The kid brings him a cup of hot liquid. The old gnome smiles at the kid and takes the cup. He takes a sip from the cup. The old gnome’s eyes widen and he spits the liquid into the fireplace. He looks around to see where the kid went to.

CUT TO:

The kid is standing by the cooker heating up the brown gooey liquid in the dirty thimble. He looks up and grins.

CUT TO:

The old gnome is starting to go red again and the frost and ice is steaming of him.

CUT TO:

9. EXT. NIGHT. OVERVIEW – OUTHOUSE.

The night is quiet and we see a small light coming from the gnome’s house.

THE OLD GNOME:

(Scream in anger).

(Sounds of fighting and things breaking).